Sunday, December 16, 2007

Fringe festival



So, the reason I want a fringe - see exhibits above. I know the reality can only be a disappointment. But I may well go for it anyway . . . There was a lady in the cafe at the end of my road with the most fabulous blunt fringe yesterday and I couldn't stop staring at her. I think she got a bit freaked out. I think maybe I should get a fringe cut just so I don't end up getting arrested for stalking befringed-ladies in Hove. That would be awful. Especially right before Christmas . . .

Shithole update: got t'internet and a phone sorted, yay! Got tv too . . . now just got to find the remote in the bottom of one of the boxes. Hmmmmm . . .

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Of heroes and hairdos

An entertaining evening was spent last night watching Russell Brand doing his stand-up show "Doing Life". I went to see him just over a year ago, and had a strange teen-obsession moment where I became utterly convinced that it was my destiny to meet him. Fortunately, this moment soon passed. Still, he's continued to take up more than a fair proportion of my thoughts and reveries since. I love listening to his Radio 2 show. I read his football column in the Guardian every week. And I'm expecting to get bought about 20 copies of his "Booky-wook" for Christmas. When he interviewed Morrissey on his show earlier this year it was a wonderful moment for me - the coming together of two of my most cherished heroes. Brand because he's, in my opinion, a creative soul bordering on genius and Morrissey because, well, the same thing really. Listening to them chatting and hitting it off in a very palpable way was like a sort of affirmation of my own good taste and appreciation of all things witty, challenging and un-mediocre. It's great when you get an ego boost like that just from listening to the radio!

Before we get back to the show last night, I should share with you my own deep misery over the last week or so caused by the NME's interview with Morrissey which proclaimed him a racist based on some comments he was reported to have made about immigration in the UK. When you saw the main quote used to support this argument, it was hard not to feel a shiver of revulsion:

" ... [W]ith the issue of immigration, it's very difficult because although I don't have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears. If you travel to Germany, it's still absolutely Germany. If you travel to Sweden, it still has a Swedish identity. But travel to England and you have no idea where you are... If you walk through Knightsbridge you'll hear every accent apart from an English accent."

Being a massive coward about this sort of thing, and not very good at recognising imperfection in my heroes, I deliberately didn't read the interview. I couldn't bear it. I'd just purchased myself a ticket to one of his shows in January at the Roundhouse. One of my very first blog entries was about the amazing show I saw him play in Blackburn a couple of years ago. It was my christmas present to myself. And then, but a few days later, the silly old sod goes and starts being all racist. Why do heroes go and do that?

A week or so after the publication of this interview, and I felt that I had to do a bit more investigation for myself. I'd been hoping that someone whose opinion I could trust would just do all the research and pondering the topic for me and just tell me what to think. But it wasn't to be. So I read the article, then read Morrissey's defence, the details of the libel case that he's launched against the NME, the words of the journalist who conducted the interview who demanded that his name be removed from the edited feature because he said it bore no relationship to the conversation he actually had with Moz, and, finally, the words of other Morrissey fans beneath his Guardian blog entry categorically stating that he abhores racism. A couple of them stood out for me:

"As a Morrissey fan of colour, it has been very difficult for me to square some of his lyrics (National Front Disco & Bengali in Platforms) which can certainly be interpreted as racist, with all that is truly touching and inspiring in his work. I have been at Morrissey concerts and received dirty looks from skinheads, but I have also seen people of colour at every Morrissey show I've attended. I suppose we all see what we choose to see in our icons. I chose to not see him as racist, even though there was more evidence to the contrary (pre-You Are the Quarry). It almost makes me weep now to read Morrissey's unambiguous words that he finds racism abhorent. I have waited many years for this. Thank you."
"One, it should always have been obvious that he is not racist-- yes, it always *has* been that clear-- and two, Morrissey still does not understand how and why his language is offensive to some people. I believe the latter was the cause of Conor McNicholas's and Tim Jonze's editorial disapprobation: in their view Morrissey's language wasn't racist, merely problematic in that it unwittingly echoes the language of genuinely racist people. Too bad that McNicholas wasn't a better editor, and Jonze a better writer, because that criticism-- which does contain a kernel of validity, albeit a small one-- will now be lost in the whiplash news cycle."

"Truth is the distance between Mozz's nostalgia for a whiter England of the past is just a thin line away from racism. Just because the major political parties pander to that nostalgia doesn't make it any less toxic. Frankly, NME, Tim Jonze, and Mozz all come out of this looking a bit daft on the issue and incapable of navigating its waters with anything close to insight. And by the way Mozz, I'd give this post more credibility without the attack on Tim Jonze's age or credentials. You're a great songwriter. Stick to that and maybe think about keeping your low brow opinions on political issues to yourself."

I think that between them, these comments kind of sum up my feelings on the whole matter. Essentially, he has feet of clay. He's not a racist, but he is a bit of a twat in the way he hankers for a Britain that never existed anywhere except in his and, perhaps Alan Bennet's, head. But that will be overlooked by anyone who loves his music because it has been so central to our lives.

So, back to Russell last night. He played 10 or 15 of Morrissey's greatest tracks (all his solo material, not from the Smiths' opus, presumably to make a very specific point) and then strolled on stage to rapturous applause. And from that point on he romped about the stage and audience using us all like his own massive sex toy. Much of the show was knicker-wettingly funny. But it was much more aggressive, and more in-your-face sexual than the show last year. Last time, he managed to spin an intense web of word-play, interconnected ideas and imagination that it left you breathless and agog. Last night, it was more visceral, less subtle and, in my opinion less satisfying as a result. And in the central section of the show was a monologue about paedophiles and taboos which, might have worked rather well in his Booky-wook - or the extract that I read of it in The Guardian did, anyway - but on stage just came across as puerile, ill-conceived and at root Just Not Funny. It was a shame because he'd set the piece up with a fantastic analysis of our fear of language - pointing out how we'll be shocked by bad language but walk past people living on the street or "eating out of bin" and dismiss it out of hand: "well, yeah, but he's always there eating out of that bin". It was a powerful point. He had the audience in the palm of his hand. But you are never going to get a laugh out of a line like: "I reckon most paedophiles are alright really". Child abuse - it just ain't funny, no matter which way you look at it. And that's not a fear of language, it's a horror at the capacity for one human to harm another.

So, hey ho. Another hero shows his imperfection. It doesn't mean I'll never go and see Russell Brand live again. I would go and see him again tonight if I could. But I'll stop assuming that everything he says is going to be a gem of genius and insight. And that's probably a good thing ultimately. Maybe that was his intention all along?

I'm running out of time and space (shit! call Where's Einstein when you need him?!) So re: hair, I'll just say this - I really really really want to have a fringe cut next time I cut my hair. I know this is just because of FASHION. Will I regret it, gentle reader? Tell me what to think!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Small . . . far away . . . small . . . far away

I was posting a comment on travelling-Hannah's blog today pondering why people blog - a topic that, earlier in my blogging, I said was all about wanting to tell the people you're close to what's in your head without having to actually tell them. Hannah translated this as "self-indulgence" which I guess is sort of what I meant. Now, a bit further into blog-land, I think it really is just about getting things off your chest. A bit like setting up a soap box at Speaker's Corner and bellowing at the passers-by. But less loud. In fact, I wonder if bloggers are really just carrying on that tradition, maybe with a bit of town-crying thrown in for good measure? Either way, it's good fun, and is most definitely an indespensible tool for keeping my marbles exactly where I can see them.

Last weekend my daughter and I spent Saturday evening in the company of some pals - J and Mrs L - getting thoroughly engrossed in Strictly Come Dancing. We dressed up kind of sparkly (well, my daughter did, anyway) and all gave our own scores (the joys of SkyPlus - pausing live telly ROCKS!) using specially made score cards, prepared earlier by J. We all screamed at the injustice of Laetetia's unfair scoring in comparison to Nick "the dancing Weetabix" Logan's. It was top-notch, let's just forget about everything and revel in this spangled nonsense, good fun. J, I hope she won't mind me mentioning, is currently in the middle of treatment to tackle the breast cancer she was diagnosed with earlier this year. She had her last chemotherapy session last week. We celebrated the end of this part of her treatment by downing 6 bottles of cava between the three of us. (And before you tut in disapproval, I challenge you to find someone who has more right to drown their sorrows in sparkly wine than a recovering cancer patient.) And then sat up talking until 3am putting the worlds to right.

I won't go all cliched and write all the usual stuff about J "being so strong and brave and blah blah blah". As she said, being brave or not makes not one jot of difference with an illness of this kind. But what I will say is that it was fantastically inspiring to see her being so unchanged and herself. Of course, she may not feel the same at all - I only have my own perspective to go on here. I have no idea what it would feel like to go through the invasive and intensive treatments she's been enduring for months now. But I'd been - let's be honest - slightly trepidatious about seeing her. What if she looked awful? How would one react? What do you small-talk about when someone is contemplating their own mortality in such a brutal and inescapable way? (In retrospect, these are shockingly selfish and ignorant considerations, I realise!) The reality was that within 90 seconds of arriving at her house, my nervousness seemed completely irrelevant. She's just the same person - with a big challenge ahead, and some rough times under her belt. The visit put a long-lasting and deeply-felt smile on my face for the first time in weeks. And the dancing was just amazing. A timely reminder that happiness can be found in the most unexpected of places. (And no, I don't think that the fact I haven't had a telly at home for nearly 3 weeks now has anything to do with it!)

Meanwhile, back at the shithole, I've been forced to accept that, for the time being, this is my home. Having sought legal advice it's been made clear to us that the law favours landlords every time. If we were to break the contract there we'd definitely be forfeiting the £1300 depost we've put down, and could face being forced to pay the rest of the 6 months contracted rent by the courts. Since that's not an amount of money we can afford to lose, staying put seems to be the only option. I may start a "Days 'till I don't have to live in the shithole any more" countdown on this here blog - a special advent calendar all of my own. I wonder if I could get one of the clever chaps at my new job - which I'll be starting in just under a month, yay! - to build me a widget to do this. Now that would be quite fun.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Life in the twilight zone

So, two weeks and counting since I had a TV, computer connection / internet access, a landline telephone connection, or a signal for my mobile phone when I'm at home. I had no idea it would be so difficult, or have such a massive impact on my state of mind. I feel like I'm communicating with my friends and family is strange, snatched, half-conversations which occur randomly and void of any context in my actual day to day existence. It's interesting. (Obviously, I'm blogging this round at the super-fabulous D&P's place. I'd just like to publicly acknowledge what utterly BRILLIANT friends they are. They rock.) Anyway, if you're reading this and wondering why you've not heard from me much lately, or why I haven't replied to your emai etc. it's because the shithole continues to be a communicatino void. Hopefully, a new abode will be found shortly, and I'll be enter to get back into the swing of things before christmas. But I'm not holding my breath!