On fashion and mental health

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant piece by Tanya Gold in the Guardian on Friday. It's called Why I Hate Fashion and it describes how she was able to break the vicious circle thought patterns that fashion and most female-focused media encourage and perpetuate inside the head of most women. It couldn't sum up my own feelings more perfectly.

Here's what she has to say:

I decided to write this piece late last year, when I read that a 16-year-old girl wearing high-heeled shoes had fallen between the carriages of a train in West Sussex. She died, of course. It was snowing that night, but still this young woman, with a lifetime of fashion choices before her, ran along that platform and is now dead. And I couldn't help suspecting that had she been wearing a shoe designed for movement, rather than to push her breasts out and her pelvis forward, she would be alive.

This was different from the usual Fashion Death, where a model has a heart attack on the catwalk, because she lives on grapes. This was an ­ordinary girl – a bystander. And why was she wearing high-heeled shoes on an icy night? Because fashion, the whispering monster, told her to.

I thought about that young woman for days; I couldn't forget her.

It's perhaps a bit melodramatic to blame this unfortunate accident on "fashion" - although it is a good question: why was she wearing high heeled shoes on an icy night? But the head state that she goes on to describe - the constant search for the ultimate outfit that is going to make everything ok, the trailing through endless rails of clothes to find "the dress" that is going to stop me feeling so crap about myself, exactly describes my own experiences with shopping and clothing until, like Tanya, I put on so much weight after having my daughter and taking anti-depressants for three years that all of a sudden there weren't any fashionable clothes in my size. I thought it was the end of the world at first. And then I realised I was set free - I didn't have to try to force my fat thighs into skinny jeans! I could just flop about in baggy trousers. The relief!

I've been reading a great book called "Overcoming Depression" by Paul Gilbert which was recommended to me by my lovely CBT counsellor. It's based on CBT and Mindfullness theory. It talks in detail about the vicious circles of negative thought patterns that are at the heart of depression, anxiety, compulsive disorders and various other common mental health complaints. I can't describe how clear and obvious it is to me, having thought a bit about all this, the direct connection between the way women are made to think about the way they look and dress and their mental health.

26% of women are likely to suffer from major depression in their lifetime. Only 12% of men are. Call me a feminist, but I don't think that's a coincidence. (And I by no means am suggesting that depression in men is any less devastating than it is in women!)

Predictably, underneath Tanya's article are a number of mean comments pointing out that, being a fatty, she would have to say that about fashion wouldn't she? That it's all just "sour grapes" because she's not thin. Talk about missing the point.

I love lovely clothes, and I especially love being to make them for myself. But I also love the fact that I don't spend a single moment chasing the unobtainable "look" . . . I can honestly say I've never been happier about my appearance than I am now as a 38-year-old size 16. That's the power of positive thinking, that is :-)

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