1. Organise a bridging loan from my long-suffering mother due to optimistic reliance on freelance payment and resultant cash flow cock-up. (WILL I NEVER LEARN? Thanks mum!)
2. Fail to hold nerve and have minor panic about not having pre-booked ferry tickets from Athens-Naxos (it's much cheaper if you buy on the day from Piraeus, but WHAT IF THE FERRIES HAVE ALL SOLD OUT? NB This never happens.)
3. Vainly struggle to remove all rogue "unfeminine" hair from body via combination of foul-smelling creams, blunt razors and torture implement known as "epilady". (How did it come to this. I mean, I'm 38 years old, And as @bolexjo once memorably told me: NO ONE IS GOING TO BE LOOKING!)
4. Pack clothes and fail to persuade myself that I really *don't* need a cardigan, hooded top, coat and kagool and then curse myself for making my bag absurdly heavy all the way to Naxos. (Yes I know it's an island in the Med but, you know, it might get parky in the evening, mightn't it?)
5. Go to Boots and spend a small fortune on creams and detergents that I will then not actually use. (Another reason why my bag is pre-destined to weigh just under a ton.)
6. "Whittle down" the list of books I want to take to five. (Yes, that's right, I'm going to read a book every other day. And otherwise my bag might not be heavy enough.)
7. Get over excited the night before and drink far too many G&T's because, well, I AM going on holiday. (Of course, my trip to Boots won't have yielded anything USEFUL like hangover cures.)
8. Organise someone to come and feed cats and water my potted garden. (Last year the cats were fine, but all of my plants were dead. I guess that was the right way round . . . )
9. Hop from foot-to-foot every half an hour or so singing "I'm going on holiday! I'm going on holiday!" until someone punches me. (It's worth it!)
10. Power down all forms of communication with the internet, switch off internal work to-do list and RELAX. (This will be the easiest thing to tick off on my list.)
See you all on the other side. This holiday is going to ROCK. :-)
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